Funny Christmas Quotes - Hilarious Humor for the Holiday Season

Are you looking for some funny Christmas quotes and sayings?

Christmas is that one holiday of the year that seems to stretch earlier and earlier into the season every year, and drag on later and later. After all, it has become a major consumer holiday and the one time of the year that retailers rely on to make a profit for the year.

Sometimes, it can be frustrating to make it through the days and weeks leading up to the big day that we need some humor.

Below are some quotes from or involving the holiday season that can be fun to share, not only with family and friends, but with coworkers and even strangers who are standing in line at the store with you, waiting to pay for items, gifts, or even food that you need for the holiday itself. Share these funny Christmas quotes and sayings, laugh at them, and just have some fun!

"Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts." - Max Lucado

"From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it." - Katharine Whitehorn

"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit." - Frank McKinney Hubbard

"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.. Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?" - Bill Watterson
(Hah! What a sarcastically funny Christmas quote..)

"There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries." - W. J. Cameron

"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space." - Dave Barry
(Hilarious! This is a super funny Christmas quote!)

"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." - Phyllis Diller

"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." - Joan Rivers.

"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas." - Johnny Carson.

"I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark." - Dick Gregory

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included." - Bernard Manning.

Which is your favorite funny Christmas quote?

We hope you enjoyed some of these funny Christmas quotes and sayings. When you just need a little humor to get through the holiday, think of these and that should do the trick!

Read More: Funny Christmas Sayings | Funny Christmas Presents | Homemade Christmas Gag Gifts | Funny Christmas Skits | Christmas Verses | Christmas Card Verses | Christmas Cards, Quotes and Verses | General Christmas Gift Ideas | Homemade Christmas Gifts | Specific Christmas Gift Ideas | Other Christmas Ideas | Home Page | Site Search

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